5am.

This beautiful song has totally gripped me...

Amber Run - 5am (Music Video)

“And you don't know what you've got until it's gone.

And you don't know who to love until you're lost.

And you don't know how to feel until the moment's lost.

I wish you would live like you were made of glass.”

Made of glass.

Imagine if you really were though… really made of glass.

Think how careful with yourself you would be. How kind and how gentle and how loving to yourself you would be. You would be so aware of your needs, your need for protection and maintenance. If you were made of glass you would not act recklessly or put yourself at risk of  unnecessary hurt. You would show yourself better respect.

But how far from the truth even is this?

Indeed, you are a beautiful but delicate thing. We all are.

Yet we forget this about ourselves. Because we cannot directly see the damage we are putting ourselves in danger of, we forget how easy we are to damage.

You so desperately need to be caring, kind, gentle and loving to yourself. First and foremost. Always. The only way to do so is to know yourself better, to recognise your fragility.

If you do not, you live all aspects of your life with nowhere near the amount of awareness and understanding that you could.

As a consequence you let such precious things pass you by, you lose things that need not have been lost, not at that time. You do not appreciate the things that life gifted you.

By not showing ourselves the care we need, we live carelessly.

Because you have not shown yourself goodness, you do not know how to be good to and for others…

And now, these good things are gone, those you should have loved you never valued, the most pure feelings you could have felt, had you known your capacity, have passed.

And because you are, like glass, perfectly breakable, you find yourself shattered. Heart broken.

And suddenly you know what you had, and you know who to love, and you know what to feel.

Because never before have you been so aware of yourself. Self awareness is the first step to life awareness.

I was so self-unaware. My entire life.

Never did I realise that to be good for others I needed to teach my own self what this goodness was, I needed to show it to myself first. To learn and respect that I was too delicate to live for pleasing others, that if I did not first please myself, I would end up falling apart.

It is unhealthy to be in a relationship with someone, to put the stress of stretching forth love to that person, when your own heart is going without. 

It is not right to burden another with the responsibility of maintaining and nurturing us. This is utterly impossible as a matter of fact and the longer we do it, the stronger our pain will be. It was not them and their lack of love, care and kindness that broke us, it was ourselves.

Some find themselves at this point of brokenness and they succumb to it. This can only lead to further damage, more days, months or even years of total ignorance to the fact that only we can save ourselves. We need to show ourselves the love that we wish to see in our lives. And no matter how low one may feel, that love is always in us.

You deserve to be whole. You have everything in you to make yourself whole again and you deserve to know it, to feel and experience it.

“Is this really what we envisaged? We won't be 21 again.”

Continue to live without awareness and you will let those good things, those pure moments, pass you by. If you live life with no mindfulness of their value, you live a life of half the riches.

This is not what you should envisage for your life. Do not accept this life for yourself.

 I am 21 and with so many years ahead of me, I don't want to let one more go by where I do not appreciate what I have until I have lost it, or I don't openly and freely cherish the people who are best for me, the people I should love, or where I feel so out of tune with myself I cannot feel the magnificent heights I am truly capable of feeling.

Glass does not break easily when the structure that holds and maintains it is strong. So live as though you were made of glass by being aware of yourself, by being good and kind and gentle and loving to yourself. Only when we do this can we offer such goodness to others. Goodness that can be truly benefiting, constructive, pure and eternal.



-Love from Bambi x

P.S. Don't forget to give the song a listen HERE and to check out this wonderful 'Amber Run' on FACEBOOK.

Images...

Although the song reflects sentiments from the moment of broken realisation, I chose to capture the stage before. The stage of limitation and self unawareness.

The surroundings are, naturally, extremely confining. Representative of a life unenlightened. Totally bare surroundings and bare bodied. No decoration or attraction in this half living. What good would they be to the blind?

The flowers, dead, are held dear and treasured. They are the only possession in this box of a life. The flowers are the self offered to others.

They have long since wilted and faded from their original beauty. This person has not nurtured and cared for what they would wish to offer the world. Shown no love to their 'self'. 

Blinded. Totally restricted. 

So unaware are they of their life, their limited surroundings, the condition of their sole possession. 

Until their eyes are open to the condition they are in, they will forever offer the world so little in comparison to what they could. If they were but unblinded, they would become aware of their own neediness and take the time and care to nurture themselves back to full strength and beauty.