What a silly, sad world we both fabricated and inhabited.
A totally isolated world, just the two of us.
So, of course, it was an utterly doomed one. As if two young fools could ever maintain an entire world just the two of them.
But it wasn't necessarily a bad world. It did start with love.
Only that it was such poor, unready love. One which carried us away.
It began as a nest.
We began to nest though we weren't ready to nest yet.
We were young, head-strong, ambitious, growing birds.
We needed still to spread our wings and fly.
Not fall in love and nest.
Not yet.
It is not of course physical youth, one's age, that proclaims one to be too young to nest. To settle into such a love. All one must ask is... have I ever known myself? Have I given myself time alone? Enough time alone to uncover all that is occuring, surfacing, driving, searching, desiring, motivating and stirring within oneself, such things that are not products of response but have been born purely of you.
A person must know flight. You must fly freely.
You should know what it feels like to roam and rule your own sky.
To not compromise your direction, even if the compromise too is appealing.
To nest is for those whose wings have both, for the present moment, grown weary. Tired and exercised from the pleasure of adventure. These wings will rest together, bodies will relax as one. They will come to breathe slow and in harmony, encouraging each other, for both know the strength that they will require when the time comes to fly again.
To fly with another is, too, for those already acquainted with flying free. Not only will they come to cherish rightly the shared exploring but they will not fall victim to developing a need for companionship. Need will serve only to narrow one's individual experience in the world.
To fly whilst in search and want of companionship can be done alone but it can never be free. Though too often it is mistaken as free.
Not only by those spectating but also by oneself. Yet your eyes are scouring, your thoughts consumed, your heart yearning.
Such restlessness confines you.
You must know a life, for a time, that you not only led alone but that you loved alone.
A life which showed you the power that exists within you, that proved to you that you are bigger than your mistakes, that you, and only you, define yourself. A life which taught you to recognise that your alone is your greatest strength and not a sign of lack.
Your time to nest will come and you will enjoy much companionship too, but please, fly freely first.
-Love from Bambi x
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